Renowned poet Rupert McCall has joined John Miller and Ross Davie as a regular on the breakfast program at Talk 1116 Brisbane’s 4BC, “inspiring Brisbane with his skills as a wordsmith while under pressure.”
Each Wednesday morning, the breakfast duo will challenge McCall to write a poetic masterpiece in 90 minutes on a contemporary subject they choose each week. The fun starts Wednesday mornings at 6.50am McCall joining John and Ross to receive the topic and the three words, phrases or names he must add in. Then, at 8.20am, he re-joins the pair to deliver his crafty verse.
The announcement comes in a week that John and Ross received their first 2003 AC Neilsen ratings result –the station’s highest breakfast audience in 12 years.
“It’s good fun and I look forward to the challenge each week,” Rupert McCall said. “They’ll have to try hard to stump me.”
McCall’s first poem this week was on the subject of Shane Warne and the three compulsory words were “diuretic”, “flipper” and “nincompoop”. It goes like this:
THE STRIFE AND TIMES OF SHANE KEITH WARNE
I’m a positive kind of Australian
So I like to remember the times
When Shane Keith Warne
Was not under scorn
For fluid-related crimes
.
I like to remember Mike Gatting
How I stood and yelled, “You little ripper!”
The fizz and the spin
When he had double chins
And the carnage he caused with the flipper!
.
The way that he mesmerised batsmen
With his drift and his fair dinkum loop
And we laughed through the prances
Of balcony dances
He was simply the prize nincompoop
.
But now – well – a sad twist has surfaced
And it seems there’s deep water for Warney
We forgave him that smoke
And for being a bloke
When his mobile phone made him feel horny
.
But the drug laws are something quite different
And the sporting world’s not sympathetic
He didn’t listen in class
Now he’s out on his arse
For swallowing one (OK maybe two!) diuretic
.
So bring out the crucifix! Lock up your daughters!
Give him a kick up the bum!
To improve his appearance
He didn’t seek clearance
No, he took it on trust from his Mum
.
And I suppose, well, as much as we’d like to
We can’t suspend her from the team
Look – I’m not saying drop it
He’ll have to just cop it
But let’s not disfigure his name
.
For it wasn’t performance enhancing
And it wasn’t a drug-cheating ploy
At the end of the day
I am sorry to say
He’s just a very silly boy!
.
Yes, we’ve all had a couple too many
And we all hate the old double chin
So when judgment is passed
And the first stone is cast
Be it from he who has lived without sin
.
Let’s remember him, not for that tablet
But for his freakish exploits with the ball
And somewhere down the track
Let’s just hope he comes back
Thank you – I’m Rupert McCall